Fresh Face Forward

Admittedly, I've never felt uncomfortable about my skin.  I had bouts of teenage acne, but I knew many friends with struggles far worse than mine.  I never worried much about make up and today rely on mascara, eyeshadow, lipstick and the occasional squirt of drugstore concealer to hide a pimple if it springs up.  I'm in the habit of wearing it to work, but if I'm running into town on a Saturday I don't have much care going "face naked" because I certainly can't be bothered to put on make-up if I'm at home. 

I have gotten myself into a habit of drinking water throughout the day and I also believe in sweating (meaning I exercise fairly regularly) which I think is cleansing also.

Over the years I have washed my face regularly with a myriad of products and because my skin is dry, I use moisturizer and sunscreen.  I have been lured, in recent years, into buying more expensive skin products as the fine lines (to which I firmly and proudly attribute to smiling, laughing and raising children) became somewhat more pronounced and visible.  The latest development has been a forehead full of discoloured spots.  They were sunspots, I was told by my doctor, which would never disappear because of the slow decline of melanin (not sure if this is the right term?) due to aging and again, it was a natural occurrence that just meant I had spent many good years enjoying God's beautiful sunshine. 

My first real investment into a skin care line was a big step for me.  I made my husband give the products to me for Mother's Day because I couldn't bear to think of it as a "daily expense".  I bought it from a fancy store in Las Vegas where a guy showed me impressive before and after photos and let me try on all the product right in their salon. I negotiated with him quite a bit and felt that when I got him down to $300 (from the $900 retail cost...apparently) I had a good deal. He "guaranteed" results and gave me his email so I could keep in touch with him to show how it was progressing.  I used the products (an exfoliator, a mask, an eye serum and an overnight eye cream) diligently.  I took "before" pictures.  I took "after" pictures 3 months later.  I sent him an email saying I didn't see much for results.  I scrubbed, washed and slathered another 3 months.  Took more photos.  Emailed again.  You probably know where I'm going with this.  Nothing and nothing. 

Nothing doing on my skin.  Nothing back from Las Vegas man.  And four beautiful jars of potions and lotions in my vanity.  The jars were probably worth more than the product.

So as you can imagine, and perhaps you've had a similar experience, I was a bit jaded when it came to non-drug store, more than $20/bottle skin care. Surely the millions of dollars that Aveeno or Dove or Loreal invests in their products must give them access to some pretty smart dermatologists and experts?   Were products really that different? 

I was somewhat content to carry on with my drugstore cleansers, drinking my water etc. but the discolouration on my forehead was getting bothersome and people were noticing (not in a rude way but it was evident).  My bangs were also growing out too quickly than I could keep up to so hiding the spots with hair, didn't seem like a reasonable option anymore.  It was at this time my husband overheard someone we both knew, talking about a great deal that Rodan + Fields was offering.  He was aware of my spots and asked her right away if he could buy some product off her that might work to take them away.  She was, obviously, a bit thrown off my some guy (albeit a friend) wanting to buy his wife's face soap, especially when it is a bit of an investment.  She pacified him by saying she'd get in touch with me. 

I need to say here I wasn't unaware of this product.  In fact I did wonder about it, having heard about it from several friends and acquaintances, but my previous burn from the Las Vegas line wasn't totally healed.  I still had product left and gosh-darn it, I was going to use every last bit of it.  It's not that it was terrible after all.  It just didn't do what I thought it was going to do...what I was promised.  But the moons were aligned that day as I had turned the page on that expensive stuff and used up my last bottle of cheapo-cleanser.  After speaking with my husband, the mutual friend had indeed touched base with me, in a very non-obnoxious way I might add, and yes, there was a deal to be had if I tried it in the month of July. And here was the clincher - there was a 60-day, empty-bottle full-refund policy.  I could use every last bit of it up and if I wasn't happy - for whatever reason - I could have my money back.  (This time, my friend lived a heck of a lot closer than Las Vegas to me, so I felt certain I could hold her to it!)

It was kind of a no-brainer. 

Now, if you've stuck with me this long I'll summarize by saying:
- my skin wasn't awful, but needed  a little TLC
- I'm not a big fan of make-up and don't pretend to know a lot about skin-care
- I was already in the habit of taking care of myself
- I don't like spending too much money on myself
- I don't like spending money (I'll just go ahead and a put a period right there).
- I had tried a lot of other products and didn't have bad results, just didn't have results per se
- I don't have any trouble returning products if they don't stand up to their claims

And the final bullet point is this:
-  This product worked for me. 
No filters, no lighting changes, no fancy camera (Samsung Galaxy 7 not on selfie-mode because I wanted full flash to highlight everything).

July 26, 2017 - Sept 26, 2017 - Reverse Regimen

And this product can work for you.  And maybe I'm the 5th person now who has told you this and your moons are aligned and now you want to know how to get some. 

You can call me. Or you can call that 1st person who told you about it.  It doesn't matter to me because I'm not quitting my day-job.  I'm just saying, this works and maybe, just maybe you are someone who has low self-confidence because of something your skin is or isn't.   Maybe, just maybe, this will make you feel like the beautiful and amazing person your friends know you to be.

Maybe you just noticed my glowing skin and were too afraid to ask if I was pregnant or not!  (I am most definitely not!)   

It works.

She Who Plans, Succeeds

Image source: http://rentalbloom.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/He-who-fails-to-plan-is-1.jpg

My title, She Who Plans, Succeeds....because I like to put a positive spin on things...
Maybe it's not quite as eloquent as Benjamin Franklin or Winston Churchill but, it's true...
I plan.  And I succeed.  (Usually).  And I'm a "she". 

Here's the nitty gritty, down and dirty, bare-bones approach to planning.
There will be no "re-tweeting", pinning, sharing or even "liking" to these links.  Not likely anyway.
It is what it is.  Planning to cover my bases and ensure outcomes are met.

Do I plan like this everyday?  Heck no!

Can I?  Oh yeah.   I can and I will if it's what I need to do to prove myself to parents, colleagues, superiors and, even lil 'ole me (with a big conscience that every now and then demands that all my i's be dotted and my t's be crossed so I can sleep at night).

For the curriculum mumbo-jumbo (General Learner Outcomes - GLO's and Specific Learner Outcomes - SLO's) that I mention in my plans, refer to Programs of Study, Alberta Education , click on the appropriate subject and then the specific grade link.  This is similar to what my American counterparts know as the Common Core.

When I mention Permeation of Faith with Intent I am referring to the points of convergence between the program of studies and the Permeation of Intent Tasks, Virtues and Values created by the Holy Spirit Roman Catholic Separate Regional Div. 4.  Find the Permeation with Intent and Grade specific curriculum maps here.

Lesson plans 

Read them, skim them, or skip them altogether.  I'm going to admit it,  I'm jumping through hoops here.  Although I do actually do almost everything I write in these plans every single day, I do not write it down every single day.  Not in this much detail.  Who has time?
So the plans aren't pretty.  But they did the job I asked them to do.  Isn't that what we're all really aiming for?


Language Arts 3/4 Paragraph Writing/Daily 5 Lesson

Social Studies 3/4 Venn Diagram Lesson

Weekly plans

Example of Week 5 plans from Teacher Binder

Example of Week 25 plans from Teacher Binder

These however...now these are my lifelines.  These weekly plans keep me sane and hopefully will make me a very happy woman in years to come.  (At one point I thought that was my husband's job, but I'm quite certain these weekly plans are quickly and deceptively taking his place!)   At least in school they are.   I devote at least an hour a week to these plans and they are worth every milli-second.  Admittedly, they could be better, more outcomes-based, more detailed in assessment strategies and differentiation tactics.  (Look close at my photos and you'll see that even by mid-year I've been able to devote just a little more attention to the "Objectives" column!) For now, for my first year using them, they are good.  They are works in progress and the beauty part is, they will be used again, and improved upon.  They're digital.  They're neat and tidy.  They're color-coded!  The templates were purchased from the ever-so-organized, creative wonder that is Traci Clausen at Teachers Pay Teachers.

The first picture is an example of my first few weeks of school and the next is mid-year, just so you can see that although I'll need to open the document again and add/delete, assuming I teach the same thing next year, they are absolutely re-usable and improvable (now I'm just making up words!)

Such a time-saver!
Note: I create and use these with Excel.  Google sheets (which is what my link below is for) does not do these justice.  Although you're able to get a good idea of what goes on during my week, you can't fully understand how concise and practical these are unless you can view them in the 2-page spread which is why I've included photos.  Also, when you're in the google doc, you will be directed to the first blank template page.  To see them in use, you'll have to click on the light grey weeks at the bottom of the screen.

Example of Weekly Plans

Unit Plans

Let's call this the "High-school, No time for messing around, Specific language outcomes to be Achieved, Few Resources Available so Teacher makes her Own" French 10 Unit Plan.  circa 2005

Sit down, hold on tight and brace yourself...this is the "Drama Queen Third Grade India Unit Plan". So called because it was my first time trying PBL, and I absolutely loved it, hated it, shook my fists at it, got messy with it, but then sat back in awe as the student's metaphorical lightbulbs zapped on and off over and over and over and over again.  The connections were awesome.  Scroll to the bottom of plan to view actual student work examples.

If you build it, they will come.  A third grade science unit plan for Building Structures & Testing Strength.  It's nice to look at but sorry copy-catters...it'll be hard to replicate as I don't have permission to distribute my main lesson plan resource.  I wish it was more practical for teachers in search of help but if you email me directly I might be able to hook you up! ;)

Year plans

I absolutely love the visual of this year plan format.   I purchased it from a very talented Traci Clausen at, where else?, TpT.  Here's the direct link: Year Planner: Back to School Curriculum Year Pacing Planner.  (And NOW it's available as a bundle!) I've used it with Junior/Senior high and now with split grade 3/4.

It is stuck right above my computer so I actually look at it daily and it is completely customized (Traci gives excellent instructions for inserting your own dates and subjects) for me and the 2015 school year.  I know you can't see much in the photo but if you open the photo as an image you can zoom in a bit and see that the grey vertical boxes are our days off and the larger blocks of colour correspond to the months.

Have I followed it to a tee, dutifully fulfilling each unit's timeline?

I wish...but I think it may need an electric shock prod and duct tape to do that, which would be far too difficult for Traci to supply!   But I do love having it printed in a four page spread above my desk computer. I actually look it at this way!  Although the default was excellent, once I waded through the very explicit instructions on how to customize it using Excel, I was thrilled at how specific I could make it.   

Here is the Google sheets version link (remember it's not as great as the Excel version but you'll get the jist just the same) 2014-2015 Year Plan At a Glance and here is the 20-odd page version which includes Alberta Ed Outcomes, Homeroom expectations etc.

Fantastic Flashlight Friday

I was once told that the"emotional bang for your buck" on any activity, whether it's a vacation for your spouse, or a five year old's birthday party is far greater when there is suspense involved.  The building up of wonder and excitement makes the days leading up to the event thick with anticipation...um, hello....Christmas!?  Some may say it's even better than surprising someone because that expectation is so packed with emotion that it makes an already fantastic occasion even richer.

Now, don't get me wrong...if the hubs surprised me with an all-expense paid vacay to Hawaii, bags packed, sitters arranged, work accounted for...I must say (LOUD & CLEAR ahem...husband...if you're reading...) I would not complain. 

But, you gotta admit, the build up to such a vacation...knowing how hard you've worked and saved and sacrificed adds a delightful perk to the whole trip before you even pack your suitcase. And let's not forget the little bits of showey-offey-isms you can drop oh-so-regretfully to the poor souls stuck in winter wasteland.  Insert heavy sarcasm here - "Oh, I'm soooo sorry, I wish I could but I simply won't be able to make your [fill in loathsome activity here] as I'll be in Hawaii that week."  Insert tight-lipped apologetic head shake.

It's a sad follow up to talk of Hawaii, but let me tell you, if you haven't lured your students in with Flashlight Fridays yet, here's your bait people.  Do it.  Do it now.

So the idea is simple.  And it's not mine.  Don't give me credit as it's all over Pinterest, although everyone seems to be thanking Joanne over at Head Over Heals for Teaching (so I will too!) and I'm sure pre-pinterest, crafty teachers did this all the time.  Heck, my hardcore grandma probably did it with candles and kerosene lanterns!

But here's my kicker...BUILD IT UP.  Trust me, if you don't, it's one of those lost opportunities you can never get back. 

On Monday, (if you have a reliable parent network as I am so very fortunate to have) send out a note requesting one mini-flashlight per child.  Don't tell them what they're for other than a classroom activity and to label them as they will be returned (and make sure the batteries aren't dead!).  Yes, the Dollar Stores carry them but a) I'm cheap b) I live 45 min away from the nearest store so that makes me lazy and c) this information is likely to leak to the kids and it's the start of something really fun.

On Tuesday, check if the note got home.

On Wednesday, the lights may be trickling in.  With the obvious questions..."Mrs. Weatherhead what are these for?"  To which you of course, innocently shrug and reply, "I can't say.  You'll have to wait." (Keep these in a safe place.  They are strictly for Friday and should not be allowed in students desks.)

On Thursday, remind students that they should be bringing their flashlights in tomorrow if they haven't already.  At this point, even if you are cheap and lazy like me, you really should run to the Dollar Store if you don't have an amply supplied junk drawer and ensure you have at least 5 flashlights for back-up.

On Friday, make a fun poster to greet the students (mine doubles as a window shade to cover the hallway light streaming in) and satisfy their bursting excitement by explaining to them that they get to read to themselves by flashlight for the first 20 minutes of class.   I let them grab their parkas to sit on as I don't have any cushions, pulled the blinds and shut off my computer to ensure maximal darkness.  Flick the lights a few times as they get settled and then, voila, total darkness, sheer silence, pure literacy magic folks.  Pure literacy magic.


**Full disclosure...I give my students a lot of rope (metaphorically speaking). 
Assuming they can't physically hurt themselves, I like to see what they do with it (stay with me, still metaphors). 
The first Flashlight Friday, they actually hung themselves.  It happens. (metaphors, people, metaphors)

After I explained that they could read on their jackets wherever they wanted in the room, they started building forts.  With whatever they could.  They're crafty like that.
Chairs, snowpants, our interlocking cushy mats, tables.  Nothing was left untouched.  As I flicked the lights to get them settled they focused more on their books and started reading inside their cozy abodes so I thought it was okay. Then, in a moment of foolishness, I responded to a colleague in the hall and got pulled into a conversation in another room.  Upon return five minutes later, my unadulterated magical literacy kingdom vanished into thin air.  Forts were being destroyed, chairs were being stolen, comfy reading spots turned into cramped quarters with five boys attempting to huddle under one table.  Not pretty, but in the end, just as much my fault as it was theirs.  This was new.  And like anything, this needs to be practiced.

The next Friday I was quick to point out that this was not "Fort-building Friday".  No mats would be harmed in the makings of THIS Flashlight Friday.  And wonder of wonders, I stayed in the room.  And read my own book.  By flashlight.   (cause you can't really do anything else except maybe catch a few zzzz's if you were up late marking the night before!) And it was fun.  Really fun. **

Who knows how long the magic will last but I will milk this for all it's worth.  Reading is so very important and if it gets just one more kid into a good book, then even the fort-building fiasco was worth it!

Great Reads to Keep up with Grade 3 Social (and beat the winter blues!)

I don't know about you but I didn't get a warm vacation this year.

In case you're reading this from a 2-season climate, I mean, that during my dead of winter, when I wake up and drive to school in darkness, peek out my blustery window to read the thermometer is quivering at -30 Celsius, and drive home in the same darkness, at no point, did I get to escape somewhere hot and sunny, sandy or salty.

I know, woe is me. I am so hard done by.

Not usually one to complain (too much!) I only write this to introduce my sanity-savers.  Books.  Specifically, historical fiction books.   Cleverly written novels that swept me out of the dark doldrums of a Canadian winter into the opulent palaces of India, the rolling meadows of early 20th century England, the bustling streets of Mumbai and the cliffs and cloudy mountain tops of the Andes.

Quote by Mason Cooley

And I might even be able to call them professional development!

I should explain how I came to choose these titles. Quite by accident actually but isn't most of life's mistakes just "happy accidents"? And aren't mistakes the only real way we learn anything anyway?

But I digress.

As I was searching through my public library's data base for additional titles for my split class of third/fourth graders, thinking some Peruvian folk tales on display might spark a little interest in their next Social Studies unit - literacy integration baby, it's all about integration! - I stumbled across some adult fiction as well.  At first I discounted them, as I can get tunnel vision when I get an idea in my head and I was trying to sift through the 400-odd titles to decide which ones may appeal to my crew.

And then it hit me.  I should probably read up on these countries too.  I knew I had a lot of learning to do having never taught these units before and one of my favorite ways to learn about new places is by whetting my appetite with a good historical fiction novel.

Sure enough Lucinda Riley's Midnight Rose took me back and forth through India, England, the 1920's and present day.  I devoured it and although I'm no book reviewer (you can look up the description and other reviews at your leisure) I will say that it certainly set me back a few days.  In a good way.  You know what I mean, don't you?  When you read until two in the morning every night for 3 or 4 days and still have to get up at 6 the next day, care for small children, go to school to care for larger children, come home and care for small children again and say hi to your husband every once in a while.  THAT kind of reading doesn't leave time for much else so it's the good kind, but it sets me back.

Shilpi Somaya Gowda's Secret Daughter took a little longer getting into but not because of poor writing - au contraire.   I'm a young mom of a beautiful daughter and stories like this pull tight on the heart strings.  In short, it touches on India's cultural preference for boys and sees the struggle a poor Indian mother must face when she loses one daughter and gives another up for adoption.  I know it's a fictional tale but I also know it's a reality for far too many.  So, I had to brace myself for it, something I don't always love doing in my night time (relaxing) read before bed.   All up though, a fantastic read spanning two families, one in India and one in the US and their struggles and victories.


Lastly, as we've moved on to our unit on Peru, I've signed out a slightly different genre but have been just as pleased and happily relocated to the Inca trail by reading Turn Right at Machu Picchu by adventure travel expert Mark Adams.  I have fully enjoyed his eloquent descriptions of Peru's breathtaking scenery with an equally eloquent sense of humor and hilarious self-deprecation.

I am so happy I stumbled upon them and just the concept of reading along with my students a "good-fit (topic-specific) book" for me is something I fully intend on doing more of.  In fact, I know I have to take this a step further and join them in marking them down my reading log, keeping a reading journal and sharing my thoughts, especially on books such as these.  In fact I am greatly inspired by Angela Watson's "10 Authentic Ways to Hold Students Accountable for Home Reading" who encourages teacher's to model this process.  Such a no-brainer but thank you so much for reminding me!

I couldn't help but end with a link to a fantastic freebie (who doesn't love FREE?) courtesy of Kara at Happy Go Lucky.  Aren't these free printable bookmarks just the greatest things to inspire some winter reading?
Thanks Kara! 

Goo Gone Goodness

Goo Gone is good. 

Goo Gone possibly saved my daughter from potential harm.  If I were a lesser woman, I may have said things I shouldn't have said.  I'm not sure that I am not that lesser woman, but I am sure that after foolishly letting my 6 year old daughter "have her way" with her third-row backseat window, I may have very well have lost my mind. 

And really, it would have been my own fault.  

After all, I gave her the sticker book.  Or, a very well-meaning mall Santa Claus did, but I condoned it.  Then, I let her sit all by her sweet-little self in the very back of the vehicle. Then, I saw how amused she was and I sat in glorious silence for a fairly peaceful 20 minutes, all the while knowing she was systematically peeling off sticker after adhesive sticker and decorating her window. 

Before Goo Gone

It wasn't until her brothers asked why THEY couldn't decorate their windows that I knew I must take those stickers away and remove them immediately if I wanted my vehicle to retain any amount of dignity. 

So, I kindly asked her to take them off.  

"You stuck them on there, you can take them off."  

"Oh, they don't come off?"  

"Lucky you, we have an hour's drive to your gymnastics lesson, you can work at it!"

And in her defense she did.
Or she tried anyway.  Itty-bitty corners came off and tiny scraps of colorful paper littered her backseat for weeks.

Time went by.

And maybe some more time went by.

And the car likely froze in the winter's chill and heated up in summer's sun and that lovely adhesive goo that makes stickers so cool anywhere else but my windows...just got that much goo-ier. Sticker.  Uglier. 

And so, one fateful day, armed with hairspray, goo gone, a razor blade and paper towels (and a little Rocky soundtrack playing in my head), I finally attacked the window.  This was no longer a child's fight and I had to put an end to it all.  Swiftly and concisely.

I started with the hairspray and let it soak for about half an hour.  I slowly and methodically sliced away at the sticker with my blade until I could get a grasp of the paper.  They peeled, but it wasn't until the Goo Gone made it's debut did my window actually come clean.  Un-gooey.  Residue-free. Clear.

After Goo Gone

 

Ahhhh....

This is definitely a product I can stand behind.  I don't have to buy it a lot but I don't ever want to run out of it.  After the sticker fiasco and I'm proud to say I'm a pretty quick learner and have not had to repeat that cleaning task, I probably use it the most to take labels off of plastic containers that I want to re-use.  I love those nut containers from Costco-turned canisters.   

How pretty is this from Lisa at Lewisville Love?   

 

She says she uses a blowdryer to get the labels off, but I stand by my Goo Gone.   It's simple, it's good.  It's Goo Gone.

No messing around with an Oops Sheet!

Much to my children's chagrin (although by the time they ever read my blog I should hope this little "issue" will be long-resolved) today's topic is bed-wetting.  Or at least a product to help you out during the bed-wetting stage. 

As parents of a six, five and two year old, unfortunately, this is still something we wrestle with nightly.  Both my older children have been day-time potty trained since they were about two years old.  The nights...well, that's another challenge altogether.  We've tried umpteen strategies and talked to multiple trusted medical professionals but so as to not bore you with the details of our urinary journey, I'll summarize by saying that we've accepted the fact that they have very small bladders and are incredibly deep sleepers. They are young yet, and we've had a few dry nights so we know it's not impossible and likely just a matter of time.

So we hope.

We dream of dry nights.

We savor the mornings not spent stripping the bed, washing, drying, re-making.  And savour any repeat mornings after that even more.  

Again, this really isn't a post about bed-wetting, after all, it's listed in "My Favorite Things" (which is kind the exact opposite of what bed-wetting is!) and as such I will now rave unabashedly about this sanity-saving product that has all my gold stars at the moment.

The Oops! Sheet fitted mattress protector is like no other.

It is soft, fits deep mattresses, never loses it's shape, is machine washable, doesn't crinkle when you lay on it, wicks moisture away, and here's the kicker folks: it's breathable.

I kid you not.

You will not wake up in cold (or hot) sweats after having slept on it for an hour wondering if you are suffering from a viral disease or just recovering from that bender you went on on Wednesday night at 7pm just before putting the kids to bed.

In a vacation house recently, I slept in a bed that had a mattress protector on it.  It was clearly not an Oops! Sheet, because I woke up a dozen times that night, feeling rather "princess-and-the-pea'ish" wondering who had conspired against me and put something under my mattress to cause me such distress.  I brushed it off thinking the new surroundings were throwing me, but on the second fitful night, after discussion with my husband, we both agreed something else besides geography was at play.  It probably doesn't help that my better half is also my "boiler-oven-half" which comes in handy when you're in a pup tent on Everest, but not so much when you're in a temperature controlled room with a ceiling fan and comforter at your disposal.

Here's the thing.  A plastic mattress protector doesn't just feel hot. It's as if it doesn't allow your body heat to self-regulate.  You're either terribly hot, or once you unveil yourself of all coverings, freezing cold.  Then you cover up again, and within minutes, that heat is trapped.  So, it's a viscous cycle.  I was shocked at how fast I would get warm, uncover, then get cold, cover up again, then hot, then cold, etc. Seriously, I was reminded of my last, fairly violent, round of the flu.   It was terribly uncomfortable but within minutes of stripping the bed on our third night, leaving the plastic sheet off and the regular sheets on, we both fell into a peaceful 37 degree Celsius (98.6 F) slumber.

So up until this last vacation I never really realized how breath-ability was so important to a mattress protector.  Here all along I was raving about how well the Oops! Sheet absorbed pee (of course it still felt wet on the fabric side but the flip side protecting the mattress was always dry, and so of course, the mattress was too).  We had the sheet on our kids' queen sized bed (that they share) so I didn't usually have a chance to sleep on it for long periods of time to notice this breath-ability factor.  I don't know if a child would have a disrupted sleep due to temperature, but if you had a light sleeper perhaps it's a consideration?  I, as mentioned, do not have light sleeping children and in most situations I consider this a blessing, but in the "I-just-peed-myself, rolled-over-in-it and still-didn't-wake-up" kind of situation, I curse it. 

Or perhaps my daughter is right...when I woke her the other night around midnight to try and go, only to find out she was already soaking wet (and still in sleepy stupor) she mumbled, "It wasn't me Mom, it was Flat Stanley!"

So...whatever your situation...pee, vomit, heavy-droolers or small flat bulletin board cut outs crawling into your children's bed and urinating ...Oops! Sheets are definitely your answer!  Here's the deets:

Go here to see of all the Oops! products, including all sizes of fitted sheets, car seat covers, underwear and sleeping bag liners. They ship through Amazon and are all kinds of efficient! Also to note when my first Oops! Sheet finally died it's slow death* to which I almost shed a couple tears for - true! - Roo sent me a new one for FREE just 'cause they're like that.  Now how cool is that!? 

I actually bought mine on discount from babysteals.com, which for those who don't know is an e-commerce site that offers boutique-quality baby clothes, baby shoes & baby products at 40-80% off.  They have two deals daily (8am and 8pm) and there is no guarantee when or if the Oops! Sheet will make it's appearance again, but it's a great source to keep in mind if you can wait and want to save a few bucks. 

Furthermore, for those locals reading my blog I'm going to send a shout-out to our local children's shop in Medicine Hat - Bumbleboo, one of the funkiest baby and children's stores around who also happens to carry them in stock.  Clearly, they know a good product when they see one!

*Full disclosure.  My Oops! Sheet was not invincible.  After more than a year of nearly daily washings it did give up the goat.  It started to let moisture pass.   As mentioned above, after contacting the company (not so much to complain, just to let them know how good it was to us - an obituary if you will - and ask about proper care and washing, in case I did something wrong to lessen it's magical powers) I was thoroughly delighted to get a personal response within hours. In addition to advising me to wash in cold water and hang dry to extend the life, Roo (company contact) graciously sent me a new one, free of charge.  There is something to be said of a great product and a great company!   Advice was heeded and it should be noted that I'm kind of a "bleach-loving-boiling-hot-water-with-a-little-extra-soap-for-good-measure" kind of girl, especially when it comes to pee-germs (or pee smell...uggh!) so my washing and hot drying techniques WAS probably the culprit of my sheet's demise.  I'll try my best to wash in cold this time Roo, and it's a good thing summer is near because hang drying a queen-size sheet in the winter is a bit of a challenge! 

Letters Home That Don't Get Lost!

My first-grade daughter came home with this note the other day and I loved it.  Loved it for so many reasons, not the least of which was the fact that it was inviting me to a celebration, in honour of ME!, but truly because I thought it was just so darn clever. 

Apologies for the terrible phone photography, but it gives you an idea of what the letter looked like anyway!

It's a note from the child to the parent (and by the way, my daughter knew exactly what it said so whether her teacher read it through with the class in great detail or perhaps even solicited their opinions on writing it first I don't know, but in any case, she knew what it was all about) and she signed it herself.  What a great way to keep the kids accountable and involved in upcoming class events and communications.   We've received notes like this for field trips, her Valentines party and her Christmas party so I would think, with a little creative wording, you could write a note like this for almost any upcoming event.   In addition, she couldn't wait to get it out of her backpack that night and read it through to me (hey, that's gotta count for some after school reading doesn't it!?)

Thanks Mrs. Nelson!  You're always coming up with great ideas!

What Really Goes on at a Good Marriage Retreat? Part III

At the risk of stumbling into some blush-worthy areas...I'm attempting this section of the series, from a practical planning perspective.

Topics, themes, itinerary, that sort of thing.

All the rest you can leave up to your imagination!

I'm not going to lie and might as well put it out there straight-away..sex is important, after all God created it to be enjoyed by husband and wife, so what better place to exercise that freedom than a retreat such as this?...but...so is the simple distraction-free silence, cool morning jogs with or without your spouse, fresh air hikes with like-minded friends, meals that don't require cutting up meat into tiny bite sized pieces, nor a sink full of dishes to clean, good-natured laughs when it comes to how opposite you and your spouse really are, private discussions that may or may not turn into a less than perfect debate (yup, disputes will happen but as long as they are focused and maintained in private...this is a healthy thing!), and let's not forget sleeping in!  Ahhhh...sleep. 

When you want it. 

For as long as you want it.  Or how about just waking up without a sippy cup slamming your forehead, or a "Mooooom, I'm hungry!", or a tackle from the top wire on your unsuspecting slumbering midsection!?

Time for the aforementioned things are very important so if the take-away from this post is nothing else...it is this:  DON'T OVERSCHEDULE!

But before I delve too much into scheduling, it might help to understand what we're scheduling around.  Specifically, what kinds of topics do we cover and what are the best ones to maintain interest for an entire weekend?

Our pastor typically chooses a marriage-themed bible study series to base the weekend on.  There is no end to good studies out there, the trick is just finding one that suits your group and can be covered in the weekend.  Watching a DVD, as opposed to having an actual speaker, is an excellent way to keep the study consistent and sort of put everyone in the same "watching and learning" boat.  With a DVD, it's not like one or two couples are the leaders or facilitators thereby putting a bit of a hierarchy on the group.  There may be couples that rise to the occasion, offering up their own experience and hard-earned lessons, but it's better for group dynamics that that develops as a result, rather than being the driving force behind the study.  Here are some examples of studies that we've covered in our past retreats.  I highly recommend each of them as my husband and I both came away with memorable lessons from each!


Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage - Mark Gungor  (Probably the Hubs' favorite!)

A Time Starved Marriage - Les & Leslie Parrott

 His Needs, Her Needs by Dr. Willard F. Harley

All good.  All from different perspectives.  And like I said before, all useful.

The schedule of events usually looks something like this:

Friday
2pm on - check in, settle in.
Sometime between 7-9pm whenever the whole group has arrived and settled, we may do an icebreaker (see previous post) to get everyone acquainted and watch our first video of the series.  Usually these are 30-60 minutes long.  After the first watch, our pastor will lead some discussion.  Most seminars come with individual workbooks that can also be handed out and often include an abundance of useful questions for a facilitator and individuals.  Once group chat has lulled, we are encouraged to go back to our rooms or somewhere private and discuss the material that's fresh in our minds.  Again, most workbooks have more personal questions for couples to discuss together and although sometimes it seems awkward to disperse just when the "party's getting started", it really is good practice to encourage some personal reflection of topics that are not always suitable or comfortable for large group settings.  This need only be thirty minutes long, and after couples can regroup (or not) and relax.  Often at this point, some late-night snacks will come out, groups of couples will form to play board games, cards, visit etc.  

Saturday
9am - breakfast
10:30-11:30am - 2nd session. View, discuss, reflect
11:30-5pm - couple free time.  Where we go, this may include appetizers or a lunch at the local tourist town, hikes, walks, naps, shopping, horseback riding, pedicures, board games, visiting etc. etc.
5-7pm - dinner time.  We always have this catered or go out to a restaurant.
7-8pm - 3rd session. View, discuss, reflect
8pm on - couple free time

Sunday
9am - breakfast
10:30-11:30am - final session. View, discuss, reflect.  Collect feedback about weekend either in the form of informal conversation (easy to do with a small group) or perhaps a written survey that can remain anonymous (for bigger groups).
11:30 on - clean/pack up, depart.

The bigger the group, the more specific the times will be.  With a small group and depending on who is cooking your meals, you will likely have a lot more flexibility with times and activities.  This really seems to be the ideal time allotment though and we haven't strayed far from it over the last five years.  Any shorter and you don't get into the nitty gritty (Saturday night discussions have always been very rich) but any longer and you'll lose people who have work and childcare commitments.

And there you have it!  Pretty much the 5W's and then some, of a solid successful marriage retreat!  Now go forth and plan in peace, print with purpose and protect your marriages!

Side note:
I happen to be editing this post on the heels of our last retreat only days ago.  It never ceases to amaze me just how enjoyable this retreat is.  Even though the Hubs and I try to get away once a month for a date night and we've even had several overnight mini-vacays to ourselves this past year, nothing quite compares with a third party challenging you to improve yourselves and a concentrated amount of time surrounded by like-minded people to work through it.  I always come away feeling a little guilty because I got to take part in such an event with my husband and so many other couples I know, didn't.  Not only do I feel refreshed and relaxed, but I also feel back on the same page as the Hubs, which I know I tend to wander from occasionally! Best of all we always return missing the kiddos like crazy which is always a good thing!

Planning a Marriage Retreat part II - Practical Printables!

Now for the "how".

How to put a successful marriage retreat together involves a bit of planning and a bit of prayer in equal parts.

If marriage maintenance is something you place as a priority in your church, let's not forget about praying for the married couples within your congregation.  Pray for their growth and maturity and willingness to learn more about each other and the institution they've committed to.  This is ongoing and can be as informal as printing up a little reminder from time to time in your church communications to something much more organized like having prayer couple partners - people matched up committed to praying for each other, asking each other how things are going, gathering specific prayer requests and being available to help one another plan date nights, act as babysitters for said date nights etc.

In any case, if you've prayerfully determined that a marriage retreat is something you'd like to offer, and you've managed to find a great location, here are some ideas that will help it come together.

One month before the retreat

Hand out a flyer or brochure giving couples all the information they need about the weekend. Be sure to include:

• Location with driving directions and/or map
• Check-in times/dates, Check-out times/dates
• Topic or theme and short biography of the book/video/speaker
• Contact information of organizing people and/or pastor
• Itinerary
• Packing list
• Cost

Since our retreat is set up to be a proactive, enriching weekend, not necessarily a troubleshooting and repair retreat, I always write a little blurb about the getaway being a non-threatening chance to get away with your spouse that DOES NOT involve being put on the spot, confessing mistakes or group therapy.  I also try to encourage, how shall I say this politely?, the more "mature" couples in our congregation to take part too.  Often, people assume that since they've been married 10+ years, they can't  be taught anything new so attendance may be low for the "mid-lifers".  I believe marriage is a constant evolution and even if they do have it down to a fine art, they then become valuable fountains of wisdom for the younger ones.

Don't forget to post a sign-up sheet in the church somewhere where people can put their names and contact info down so you have a running total of interested attendees.

As promised, here is the link for this year's information brochure.  Feel free to tweak and modify for your own purposes!  Click here for the free EDITABLE & PRINTABLE version of my brochure.

The Weekend of the Retreat

If you opened the brochure you will have noticed a very general timeline of events.

Since it begins on a Friday and people have different work commitments, we try to make this portion very casual.  The one thing that we stick to is the first video segment series set to begin once everyone arrives.  Sometimes this is as early as 7pm, sometimes as late as 9:30pm.  You'll also remember, that Friday night food is each couple's own responsibility.  This makes it easy to keep the check-in time flexible as long as one of the organizers can be there at a set time to get the paperwork with the property owners out of the way.
It is helpful for guests to have a slightly more detailed version of this itinerary once they arrive. Things like catered meals that have set times and approximate times for video watching and informal discussion need to be listed, as well as packing/clean-up/check-out time.  However, be intentional about leaving gaps in the planning and therefore printing of this itinerary.  This may be the only "unscheduled" weekend many of these couples will have in their year and the freedom to wake when they want, eat when they want and sleep when they want goes a long way in feeling pampered.  

No matter how well everyone knows each other it's kind of nice to start the retreat off with a mixer.   People usually aren't comfortable sharing about themselves right off the start so I would highly recommend encouraging some mingling to start and once everyone feels a little safer, conversation will inevitably flow. There are lots of group ice-breaker ideas out there ( The National Healthy Marriage Resource website has dozens here but I've only chosen two below) and I've included a few that I have created and modified to work in the marriage retreat setting.

Toilet Paper Tell
I could see this being modified by first having a very sober leader launch into a serious announcement saying, "The lodge we are staying in has run out of toilet paper.  This roll is all we have left," he could explain, "So take what you think you'll need for tonight and hopefully we can get more by morning!" 

Then, when people have torn off their appropriate squares (which of course has nothing to do with how much they will actually "need") instead of talking about themselves, (one tidbit of info per square) they have to say some positive attributes about their spouse.

Getting Acquainted Card Game (need to click on the pdf link on the right to see full instructions)
Basically, you use a set of playing cards to try to get four of a kind.  When someone has acquired four of a kind, they must share four things about themselves.  I would adapt this, as above, to sharing four great things about their spouse.

Scavenger Hunt (need to click on the pdf link on the right to see full instructions)
Possibly done before guests even take their bags to their rooms as many of the required items may be found in their purses/suitcases/toiletry bags. Work in couples, 2 couples per team.  May also be comical if it is limited to just the men who must do the searching as (not to be too stereotypical but...) sometimes women have a tendency to pack for the men.  A rule could be added that the women on the team are not allowed to talk or search themselves but only nod or shake their heads.

Marriage Quote Match (click here to download the editable word doc from my google docs page)
Positive quotes about marriage are printed on this sheet but divided up into halves.  The quotes are cut apart into strips and all put into a bowl.  Each person then takes one strip, reads it and once everyone has their paper, the group mingles and shares their halves of the quotes attempting to put the halves together to make a full sensible quote.  It's a good idea to keep a master copy of this document to check at the end to see that the quotes are indeed matched up correctly.  There are 16 quotes on this document so enough for 32 people. 

Give Something Away!
Our thoughtful and generous Pastor and his wife, have always ensured that there are a number of marriage-friendly resources on display to give away throughout the weekend.  Titles have ranged from Sheet Music - Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy by Dr. Kevin Leman to Great Parents, Lousy Lovers by Dr. Gary Smalley and Ten Cunningham to your basics like The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.  An introduction to these resources - particularly the books on sex - seem to break down some taboos right off the bat, get some nervous giggles out and by giving one away right away, seems to put people at ease.  After all, who doesn't love free stuff?   Everyone can put their name in a hat, or perhaps their set of keys, and the lucky winner whose name or keys is pulled either gets a pre-determined book, or gets first choice. 

Swag
Back to giving away free stuff, a nice little welcome gift left on guests' beds goes a long way to making guests feel special.  For these ideas I turned to The Dating Divas, who have no shortage of creative and economical ideas to keep the marriage fires burning.

Click on the pics to go directly to the printables!

Do Not Disturb door hangers. Scroll down through this link to find printable!

With a pack of "Extra" Chewing Gum, I'd put the following quote on instead: "The difference between an ordinary marriage and an extraordinary marriage is in giving just a little 'extra' every day, as often as possible, for as long as we both shall live." Fawn Weaver

 
Stay tuned for more details on the "what".  What are the best themes for a weekend?  What are some great topic series? What is a fool-proof way to moderate a group session for maximum results?  What really goes on at a great marriage retreat!?




 

The Definitive Guide to Planning a Solid Marriage Retreat Part I

Our church's annual marriage retreat is approaching and I have the privilege of helping to organize it!  It's something I am passionate about since I truly firmly believe that marriage does not come easy nor can it be left to blossom on it's own.  Like a well-manicured garden, spring does not come and the garden instantly looks beautiful. Aside from sunshine and good soil, it needs constant care and attention, weeding, watering, fertilizing, deadheading etc.  Every day.  Every season.  Every year. 

Certainly it needs more than just one weekend away as this retreat is, but as I've found in attending and helping out over the past five years, even one weekend is hard for most people to commit to.
Yet, it's a start, a really good start.

In any case, this organizing has kept me busy and so instead of just letting the blog slip again to the wayside because of it, I thought I'd write about it.  After all, a quick Pinterest search actually came up fairly empty.  Not blank empty, but just empty of realistic, practical information, that wasn't too touchy-feely, geared toward a fairly small group as we have.   As it turns out this post is actually a series of posts dedicated to planning a solid, successful marriage retreat.  I'm sure there are many improvements to be made and it won't work for all groups due to differing numbers and economics, but I've kept the information fairly general so it should apply to most or be easily adapted for others.

First off, I'm no marriage expert, having only been in mine for ten years, and holding neither a psychology nor a counseling degree.  But this isn't about therapy, this is about preparing a successful retreat from start to finish, so to that organizing end, I AM an expert!  (Mother of three, teacher, volunteer, and if you knew who I am married to, you'd value my credentials immediately!  Here's your one piece of marriage advice in this article - opposites attract. Yeah, so I'm the organizer and he's the....the opposite of all things organizational, so that should qualify me for some respect!)

And the first item up for bid, errr...major point to consider is...

Location Location Location
One of the most important aspects of the retreat and pretty much the first thing you need to secure, is a good location so you can plan for travel and give your attendees a cost estimate.  Now, as much as I'd like to find myself with my spouse "working on our marriage", on a white sandy beach in Hawaii, that whole plane-ticket- triple-zero-price-tag-thing, would likely do more damage to our marriage than the retreat could hope to repair, so here are the important points to consider about location, sans white sand, if you live in the 95% of the world without white sand.

A good location for a marriage retreat needs to be:

• Far enough away that couples can't race home to take the kids to soccer practice.  No, you can't run away from your problems, but a little space can give perspective and a much needed  break.
• Close enough that the gas money isn't a consideration and couples can race home should the baby swallow a quarter at Grandma's house.
• Beautiful enough that couples can forget the heaps of laundry, stacks of dishes, and piles of bills littering their house.  Nobody needs the Ritz, after all, the getaway (time alone) should be good enough, but there needs to be a balance between feeling a bit pampered and not paying through the nose for it.  Everyone's idea of pampering is different (heck I went to the dentist the other day and after reclining for 10 minutes in their padded ergonomically correct chairs - uninterrupted - with the fish tank bubbling at my side - with my eyes shut - aside from the drill buzzing in the next chair (I pretended it was a skin buffer) I almost tricked myself into thinking I was at the spa!)  So perhaps my idea of beautiful isn't a great standard, but you get my point - there needs to be some degree of serenity, cleanliness, peace and quiet. 
• Private!  Self-explanatory.  Couples need their own space to do their thing.  At minimum, they need a private bedroom.  A private bathroom is almost as important and certainly adds to the feeling of pampering if it can be offered as well.  Private areas in and around the property are important too, for discussion, heated or cool!  (Make no mistake, a good disagreement - fight even! - will often crop up!  Worry not!  It isn't a bad thing to have at a marriage retreat...at least it can almost always be resolved without life interrupting!)  Privacy for the group is also essential to creating a safe, comfortable, distraction-free atmosphere where conversation can flow. Which leads me to...
• Group friendly.  There needs to be a central meeting place where videos can be watched, books read together, discussion ensued, board games played, munchies eaten, and music played.  These are not definitive actions for a retreat but a large open area, preferably with couches, is necessary for them to occur if desired.

So all that is well and good but does a place like this actually exist?  I think it can just about everywhere if you're creative and willing to make some calls.  A summer camp could do the trick or even a floor of a college dorm residence (although usually the beds are singles which isn't exactly conducive to a great night's sleep...yeah, sleep, that's it, wink wink)  While a hotel is okay, it can be a bit too isolating for a good retreat to happen, plus there are usually other people milling about so distractions are plentiful.  A small, clean, well maintained motel that the group could take over, would be also an option. That being said, the location is what you make of it and if it can offer these five things above, it will certainly work.

As for an example, we've been extremely lucky with our location as most years we've been able to convene at a private guest house in a picturesque little village near the mountains.  The Mountain View Inn and Retreat Center has eight bedrooms in the main house, and for times when there has been more couples attending, it also has a more rustic cabin a few feet away that sleeps another three couples.  This is has been sufficient for our fairly small group but the quantity of couples will dictate your final destination. In case you're a local reader in Southern Alberta and are actually hunting out a place, I've included a few pictures from thier website just to let you know how perfect this location is.

Group area in the middle of the house.  Also has TV and WiFi to watch videos or stream video.

One of the bedrooms.  Even though it has two queen beds, we don't share rooms to save money.  Privacy is essential on this trip!

We usually go in the spring so we're not paying high-season rates so the grass isn't always this green. But, the grounds do allow for some lovely strolls and lots of little private areas to talk or play football or sit around a campfire. 

Food Glorious Food

Not much to say on this topic other than I highly recommend you include catered meals in your total cost.  Food buying, planning, prepping and the subsequent cleaning of it all, can be a monotonous chore that can cause some stress in our daily lives.  Eliminating that stress goes a long way to providing that feeling of being pampered and lets folks focus on the reason they're there.  

At our retreat, which runs from a Friday afternoon/evening until Sunday noon, we offer two breakfasts, and a catered dinner as part of the retreat fee.  The Inn also provides a full kitchen that can be used for everything else.  Some couples bring their own Friday night supper and we've also organized everyone to bring appies to share that evening.  Same goes for Saturday lunch and snacks in between.  Others eat out at at the nearby touristy town for a little bit of added luxury. 

Wine, beer or other spirits are something you may or may not want/need to address but we find it best to encourage couples to consume any "potent potables" within the confines of their own room.

You now know my "where" and and a few extra tips. Stay tuned for the "how" to put this altogether (with PRINTABLES!),  "what" a marriage retreat should cover (itinerary) and lots more suggestions in the next few blog posts!

How to Put it Altogether with Practical Printables!